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If you want to feel more sensual and you have no idea where to start…. Try this! ✨

Stop treating sensuality like something you need to look good doing. Seriously.

We often focus on the things we want to be able to DO. Set boundaries. Communicate our needs. Stay present during conflict. Receive affection. Navigate intimacy. Repair after disconnection. But these are often the visible expressions of something happening much deeper underneath. Because knowing how to set a boundary and having the capacity to hold one when someone is disappointed with you are two very different things. Knowing that you want intimacy and having the capacity to remain present when vulnerability, uncertainty, or discomfort arise are two different things. Capacity work isn’t simply about learning new behaviours. It’s about understanding the internal responses, patterns, and experiences that shape what feels possible for us in the first place. It’s about developing our ability to notice, orient, experience, navigate, and return. And importantly, it’s not about becoming someone who never struggles. It’s about expanding what’s available to you, even when things get difficult. The visible expression is only part of the story. What part of the iceberg do you find yourself focusing on most? 🧡✨

Nobody talks about how awkward exploring your sensuality can be ✨🧡

If you think you need to feel confident before exploring your sensuality, listen to this ✨🧡

I spend a lot of time talking about embodiment, relationships, capacity, and self-awareness. But knowing the language doesn’t mean I’ve mastered the practice. I’m still figuring out what health means to me. Still working on my relationship with my body. Still navigating the beautiful and sometimes incredibly hard parts of long-distance love. Still building a business that isn’t quite where I want it to be. Still catching myself avoiding conversations, losing my cool, and knowing what I could do differently without always doing it. I don’t have a neat lesson for all of it. Some of it I’m actively working through. Some of it I’m still confused about. Some days I’m proud of myself, and other days I’m frustrated with where I am. I think there’s something important about letting ourselves be seen in the middle of the process, not just once we’ve made sense of it all. So here’s a little reminder, to myself as much as anyone else, that you can know a lot, be doing meaningful work, and still be a human being figuring your own shit out. 🧡 What have you been wrestling with lately?

What to do when you start judging yourself in the middle of a sexually intimate moment ✨

What is s3xuaity, really??

The reason you struggle to relax into pleasure ✨🧡

SENSATION: What am I physically noticing? EMOTION: What am I feeling? THOUGHT: What is going through my mind? INTERPRETATION: What meaning am I making of this?

Needing space doesn’t automatically mean you’re disconnecting from someone. Sometimes you need time to process, rest, understand what you’re feeling, or return to yourself. You can need that space and still care about the relationship. The distinction is that space doesn’t have to mean leaving someone guessing about where they stand with you. You can communicate that you need time without promising an immediate resolution. You can pause a difficult conversation without abandoning it. You can honour your own limits while remaining considerate of the connection. And this doesn’t mean you owe someone constant access to you or reassurance every time you need to be alone. You can be unavailable for a conversation without being unavailable for the relationship. Sometimes capacity looks like knowing how to step away without disappearing. 🧡

You can know what you want to say and still struggle to say it ✨

When is closeness helpful? And when is Space most helpful?

Your sensuality doesn’t have to be beautiful to be real. We see so much sensual embodiment online presented through beautiful, fluid movement. Women arching their backs, stretching, swaying, looking effortlessly connected to their bodies. And yes, sensuality can look like that. But it can also be messy. Awkward. Uncoordinated. Unexpected. It might look nothing like what you’ve seen online. Because there’s a difference between looking sensual and experiencing your sensuality. To me, sensuality is about your relationship with your senses. How you experience touch, texture, movement, pressure, pleasure. What draws your attention. What feels good. What you’re curious to explore. Recently, I was moving on the floor, feeling how my body met the ground, allowing my movements to unfold without planning them. I started taking off my sweater, and instead of rushing to remove it, I slowed down and felt the fabric brushing against my skin. I found pleasure in something so ordinary. I wasn’t trying to look sexy. I wasn’t trying to make my movements beautiful. I was simply experiencing myself. And this is what I want more women to know: you don’t have to perform sensuality to experience it. You don’t have to move gracefully, feel confident, or even know what you’re doing. You can be still. You can wiggle. You can shake, stretch, rock, or move in ways that make absolutely no sense to anyone watching. Your sensuality isn’t determined by how your body looks from the outside. It’s about what becomes possible when you start experiencing your body from the inside. What might you discover if you stopped trying to look sensual and gave yourself permission to simply feel? #SensualEmbodiment #SomaticIntimacy #EmbodimentPractice #WomensEmbodiment

When touch helps vs. When touch does not help 😅

When questions helps vs when questions overwhelm ✨🧡

Relational capacity is your ability to stay connected to yourself, another person, and what’s happening between you, especially when things get emotionally or relationally complex. It influences how we navigate intimacy, communicate our needs, experience desire, set boundaries, receive care, and repair disconnection. And here’s something important: knowing what to do and having the capacity to do it in the moment aren’t always the same thing. You can know how to communicate your needs and still struggle to voice them. You can want intimacy and find yourself pulling away. You can understand your patterns and still experience them when the stakes feel high. That doesn’t mean you’re broken or that you haven’t done enough work on yourself. It means there’s more to understand than simply knowing the right thing to do. My work as a somatic intimacy coach explores the relationship between our bodies, our stories, our responses, and our capacity for connection. Because the goal isn’t to perform relationships perfectly. It’s to develop more room to notice, choose, respond, and remain connected to yourself along the way. This is the foundation of my Capacity Methodology™. If this resonates, save this post as a reminder: your responses are worth understanding, not just correcting. And if you’re curious about your own patterns, you can explore your Capacity Profile through the free assessment linked in my bio 🧡✨ #RelationalCapacity #SomaticIntimacy #SomaticCoaching #EmotionalAwareness #IntimacyAndConnection

Action Vs. Presence ✨🧡

🗣️ TABOO TABLE TALK: 5th Edition! What are the conversations we wish we could have more often? The ones that make us laugh, think, question what we’ve been taught, or realize we’re not the only ones who feel this way. Taboo Table Talk is a space for women to come together, share experiences, get curious, and talk about the things we don’t always get to talk about in everyday life. No workshop. No therapy. No debate. No need to have all the answers. Just honest conversations, different perspectives, and the kind of connection that happens when we make room to really listen to one another. 🧡 ✨ Join us for our fifth edition! 📅 Wednesday, November 4 🕢 7:30–9:30 PM 📍 @studioinspomtl , Pointe-Claire Village Come as you are. Bring your curiosity. Leave room for a conversation you didn’t expect. Spots are limited. DM me to reserve yours! #TabooTableTalk #WomensGathering #WomenSupportingWomen #PointeClaire #MontrealEvents

What support may look like when uncertainty is the hardest part ✨🧡

What is foreplay really?!

Forgiveness doesn’t automatically restore trust. You can forgive someone and still need time to feel safe with them again. You can accept an apology without immediately feeling ready to trust. And you can care about someone without giving them the same access to you. Forgiveness doesn’t require you to abandon what you’ve learned. Trust develops through consistency, accountability, and what someone does over time. You don’t have to rush that process to prove you’ve healed. You can release resentment without abandoning discernment. 🧡

Humans heal relationally ✨

Repair vs. Reconciliation ✨🧡

What support may look like when you’re highly sensitive ✨🧡

Sometimes, we get so focused on how we want someone to show up for us that we lose sight of why it matters. “Tell me we’re okay.” “Hold me.” “Talk this through with me.” “See me, really see me.” “Give me time.” “Let me know you’re thinking of me.” These are different strategies for reaching toward something that matters. Reassurance. Touch. Conversation. Being witnessed. Space. Connection. And while a particular strategy might be what we’re asking for, it isn’t always the only way that need can be met. Understanding the need beneath the strategy creates more room for curiosity, communication, and choice. Instead of getting stuck on “Why won’t you do this for me?” we can begin to explore “What am I needing, and how else might we meet that need?” This doesn’t mean abandoning what you want or convincing yourself that your needs don’t matter. Sometimes, a specific strategy really is important to you. And sometimes, understanding the need opens up possibilities you couldn’t see before. The need matters. The strategy is a way of reaching for it. And understanding the difference gives us more than one way forward. 🧡 Save this as a reminder for your next difficult conversation. #SomaticIntimacy #EmotionalNeeds #RelationshipSkills #SelfAwareness #EmbodiedConnection

My top 5 horror movies (as a somatic intimacy coach) 1. The idea that you have one true love. The belief that there is one person out there who will just get you, and that finding them means you’ll finally stop questioning, struggling, or feeling uncertain. 2. “If it’s meant to be, it will be easy.” The idea that healthy intimacy should never involve conflict, discomfort, misattunement, or repair, and that difficulty means you’re with the wrong person. 3. “When you meet the right person, you’ll just know.” The belief that your body will always give you a clear, unmistakable yes, and that uncertainty must mean something is wrong. 4. “Love means accepting someone exactly as they are.” The idea that loving someone deeply means you have to tolerate whatever comes with them, even when who they are in the relationship isn’t working for you. 5. “If you love each other enough, you can make it work.” The belief that enough love can overcome incompatibility, unmet needs, different values, or a relationship that keeps asking one person to abandon themselves.

What support looks like in collapse ✨🧡

What supports look like in activation ✨🧡

Sometimes it’s telling you that a boundary is being crossed or something genuinely isn’t okay. The goal isn’t to override your body. It’s to get curious enough to discern what the feeling is actually responding to. Discomfort is information. Not a verdict.

What is your system actually asking for?✨🧡

The S3xual experience is the main event ✨🧡

What does it actually mean to receive support? I think we sometimes make support much more complicated than it needs to be. Support doesn’t always mean being held. It doesn’t always mean talking. It doesn’t always mean reassurance, closeness, advice, or someone staying with you. Sometimes support is space. Sometimes it’s information. Sometimes it’s practical help. Sometimes it’s being witnessed. Sometimes it’s touch. Sometimes it’s someone respecting your boundary and giving you room to find your way back to yourself. The important question isn’t, “What does support look like?” It’s: “What would actually support me here?” And then there’s the relational piece: the other person gets to have an experience too. They may be able to offer what you’re asking for. They may not. They may have a different capacity, boundary, or need. Receiving support doesn’t mean getting the exact response you imagined. It means becoming more able to identify what would help, ask for it, receive what is genuinely available, and stay connected to yourself when the answer is no. That’s part of the art. ✨🧡

Reassurance doesn’t always regulate uncertainty ✨🧡

Being alone can also be regulating ✨

Support can sometimes feel like more activation ✨🧡

Your body can give you important information without every feeling being a verdict. Sometimes that “something feels off” feeling is pointing toward something worth noticing. And sometimes activation, uncertainty, or an old pattern can create a strong sense of urgency that feels like certainty. The answer isn’t to distrust your body. It’s to get curious about what it’s communicating. What am I noticing? What am I making it mean? What do I actually know? You can trust your body’s intelligence and leave room for discernment. Intuition doesn’t require certainty. 🧡✨

Advice I’d give you as a somatic intimacy coach if I wasn’t afraid to hurt your feelings. 1. You might not be confused about what you want. You might be afraid of what wanting it will ask of you. 2. Sometimes you’re not waiting for your body to say yes. You’re waiting for someone else to make saying no feel okay. 3. You can be empathetic and still abandon yourself. Understanding why someone hurt you doesn’t mean you have to keep making room for it. 4. Your ability to tolerate discomfort isn’t proof that something is good for you. 5. Sometimes what you’re calling chemistry is actually familiarity. And unfamiliar doesn’t necessarily mean wrong. 6. You can crave intimacy and still have little capacity for the vulnerability it requires. 7. You don’t have to turn every uncomfortable feeling into a conversation or every relational tension into something you need to resolve. 8. You might be so focused on whether someone desires you that you’ve stopped asking whether you actually desire them. 9. Being understanding doesn’t mean being endlessly available. Your empathy needs boundaries to remain yours. 10. You can have compassion for someone’s limitations without volunteering to live inside them. 11. You might be afraid that being fully yourself will reveal that the relationship only works when you’re accommodating. 12. You don’t owe someone sexual access because they’re loving, patient, attractive, committed, or disappointed. 13. Your capacity isn’t measured by how much you can endure. It’s also your capacity to want, choose, refuse, receive, explore, and change your mind.

Why co-regulation works for some people and not others ✨🧡

You don’t have to be regulated to co-regulate ✨🧡

Intimacy is about how well you know yourself, the other person and what happens in the space between you. The Triad of Intimacy: Self • Other • Between ✨SELF: I know myself. I feel myself. I take care of myself. ✨OTHER: I see you. I respect you. I stay in relationship. ✨BETWEEN: We co-create safety, meaning, and connection. We often focus so much on understanding the other person that we lose touch with ourselves. Or we become so focused on protecting ourselves that we lose the ability to stay curious about the other. intimacy asks us to hold all three. To know what we feel and need without making the other person responsible for it. To remain curious about their experience without abandoning our own. And to recognize that the relationship itself is something we create together. The quality of the between reflects the care we both bring. Because intimacy is about learning how to be in relationship without losing connection to self, the other or the between 🧡✨

Co-regulation ≠ dependency

Co-regulation ≠ outsourcing regulation ✨🧡

What actually makes kink… kinky?!🤨

Repair doesn’t guarantee reconciliation. You can take accountability, acknowledge the impact of your actions, and make a genuine effort to repair a rupture without being guaranteed forgiveness, trust, or another chance. And you can receive someone’s apology, recognize their efforts, and still decide that you don’t want to continue the relationship. Repair is about how we respond to what happened. Reconciliation is about what we’re willing to build together afterward. Sometimes accountability means learning to respect an outcome we didn’t want. And sometimes repair matters, even when the relationship doesn’t continue. 🧡✨

If your system adapted around feeling trapped, your body might especially long for experiences of...

What if you’re not “not sexual”?

Maybe you don’t need more foreplay🤷🏽‍♀️

🍂 October is bringing opportunities to gather, learn, connect, and talk about the things we don’t always get to talk about. Here’s where you can find me this month: 🌙 TABOO TABLE TALKS October 7 | 7:30–9:30 PM 📍 @studioinspomtl | Pointe-Claire Taboo Table Talks is a women-centered space for open, honest, and shame-free conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, desire, our bodies, and all the things that can feel a little harder to talk about out loud. ✨ UNMUTED: Conversations on Women’s Health & Advocacy Hosted by @thecuteruscorner + @the.seasonscollective I’ll be there with a Somatic Intimacy Coaching booth! Join us for an afternoon dedicated to learning about your body, asking questions, and connecting with women who get it. The afternoon will include: 🌿 Practical tools for self-advocacy 🎙️ A moderated panel + Q&A with healthcare providers 📝 A guided group activity 🤝 Wellness partner booths ❤️ Community connection 🎁 Giveaways from event partners I’d love to see you at one (or both!) of these October gatherings. Come learn something new, ask the question you’ve been sitting with, meet some wonderful people, and make a little more room for conversations that deserve to be had. ✨

Why does touch sometimes turn me on and sometimes make me want to crawl out of my skin?

Why do I want it until it’s actually happening?

The goal in connection is cooperation ✨

Being understood doesn’t always mean someone agrees with you. Sometimes what we’re really asking for is: “Can you understand why this felt the way it did for me?” You can make room for someone’s experience without adopting their interpretation as your own. Attunement doesn’t require agreement. We can be different and still be connected.

If your system adapted around never feeling enough, your body might especially long for experiences of...

Maybe you’re not bad at s3x 🤷🏽‍♀️

When does difference become incompatibility?

We often look at someone’s response and assume it tells us who they are. “They’re avoidant.”
“They’re too much.”
“They don’t care.”
“They’re controlling.”
“They’re overly sensitive.” But a response is not the whole story. My Capacity Methodology looks at the orientation underneath the response: what are you trying to stay connected to, protect, reduce, notice, repair, or understand when something gets activated? Two people can experience the same situation and respond completely differently because their capacity is organizing around different things. And the same person can respond differently depending on their capacity in that particular moment. That’s why I’m less interested in asking,
“What’s wrong with this response?” And more interested in asking,
“What is this response trying to do?” Capacity is NOT personality label.
It’s NOT a measure of how “healthy” you are.
And it certainly is NOT a measure of your worth. It’s a vehicle for understanding yourself with a little more curiosity and a little less shame. What do you tend to orient toward when things get activated? 🧐

I want to give a little shoutout to @studioinspomtl ! ✨ Happy 5th anniversary, Studio Inspo! Thao, Jenn, and Rachel are truly the BEST hairdressers, and I really resonate with their values of bringing community together and creating an inclusive space. They created such a lovely vibe for this celebration, with delicious food, great conversations, and so much fun! It was such a pleasure to facilitate two workshops last night as part of their mental health fundraiser for @amiquebec. We had some really fun conversations, I met some very cool people, and I got to facilitate two short embodiment practices. And for those who are curious: I facilitate Taboo Table Talks on the first Wednesday of each month, hosted at Studio Inspo. It’s a space to talk about the things we don’t always get to talk about: sex, intimacy, relationships, desire, boundaries, and all the messy, funny, complicated, wonderful stuff that comes with being human. And honestly, I love what Studio Inspo creates beyond just great hair. They create a space where people feel welcomed, seen, and part of a community AND folks leave their doors feeling confident and good about their hairstyles. 💛

Validation vs. Agreement ✨

You don’t need to change their minds ✨

One of the most useful distinctions I’ve found in relational work is: A need is not the same thing as the strategy you use to meet it. And this doesn’t mean your strategy is unreasonable, needy, or wrong. It means there may be more than one way to get to the thing underneath it. “I need you to text me every morning.” Maybe what you’re needing is reassurance, consistency, or connection. “I need you to come with me.” Maybe what you’re needing is support, companionship, or help feeling less alone. “I need you to tell me we’re okay.” Maybe what you’re needing is clarity, security, or reassurance. The strategy can be meaningful. But the strategy isn’t necessarily the need. And this distinction matters because when we confuse the two, it can start to feel like: “If you don’t do this specific thing, you’re not meeting my need.” When really, the question might be: “What is this strategy trying to give me?” That doesn’t mean you have to accept every alternative someone offers. Sometimes a particular strategy does matter deeply to you, and you’re allowed to say that. But knowing the difference gives you more information. More choice. More language. And more room for two people to navigate needs together without assuming there’s only one possible route. Needs create direction. Strategies create options. What changes when you start asking yourself: “What is this actually about underneath what I’m asking for?”

What actually is co-regulation?

Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing ✨

If your system adapted around feeling emotionally “too much”, your body might especially long for experiences of...

So, what exactly are the 7 Capacity Profiles™? Each profile describes a core movement your system tends to make when relational load increases. In other words, when a relationship feels emotionally intense, uncertain, close, ruptured, or otherwise demanding, how does your system tend to orient to what’s happening? One person might move toward action → Do something. Another might move toward certainty → Know what will happen. Another might move toward connection → Stay connected to you. Another might move toward reducing intensity → Reduce the intensity. These are not personality types, and they’re not “good” or “bad” ways of responding. They’re different ways a system can organize itself when relational load increases. If you take the Capacity Profile™ assessment, you’ll receive the profile that comes through most strongly in your responses right now. That doesn’t mean it’s the only pattern you have. Our systems are complex, contextual, and can use different strategies depending on the situation, the relationship, and what we have capacity for in that moment. The current version of the assessment is designed to identify one dominant profile. Future versions will capture more of the overlap and interplay between profiles, because I don’t want to flatten a complex human experience into a single box. For now, think of your result less as “This is who I am” and more as: “This is one of the patterns my system may be organizing through right now.” Once we can recognize the pattern, we have more opportunity to understand it, work with it, and build capacity around it. More awareness. More choice. More connection. Take the Capacity Profile™ assessment through the link in my bio. 🧡✨

Today was a BIG DAY! 🥹 I had a booth at my first-ever market, and I’m still on such a high! What a fun experience to see my brand out in the world and in action ✨✨ AND to have so many supportive humans stop by. Thank you. My heart feels so full. 🧡 I’m so excited to see where somatic intimacy coaching takes me next! Today was also the day I spoke on my first panel discussion, and I had so much fun chatting with Debora about What the Body Knows. I tried to record it… but forgot the mics, so you can sort of hear us 😅 And, as if that wasn’t enough, the Capacity Profile Assessment & Lexicon officially launched! 🎉 Head to the link in my bio to take the assessment and receive your free copy of the Lexicon. 🧡 Such a huge milestone for my business, and I’m feeling really proud of myself today. I can’t wait for the next one. ✨!

Resolution vs. Repair

How to stay in connection with self and the person in front you✨

One of the most important distinctions I want us to make when we talk about regulation: Needing support is not the same thing as making someone responsible for your regulation. You are allowed to reach for someone. You are allowed to need reassurance, closeness, touch, grounding, or help finding your next step. And you don’t have to become completely self-sufficient in order to have healthy relationships. The capacity I’m interested in is the ability to stay connected to yourself while reaching toward someone else. To know: This is what I’m feeling. This is what I need. This is what I’m asking for. And you get to decide what you have the capacity to offer. That’s co-regulation. Because capacity isn’t about needing less. It’s about having more choice in what you do with what you need. And honestly, I think this is one of the places where our ideas about “healthy regulation” can get a little distorted. Sometimes regulation doesn’t look like calming yourself down alone. Sometimes it looks like saying: “I’m having a hard time. Will you stay with me while I find my way through it?” That’s relationship. 🤍

Successful conversations don’t always end in agreement ✨

Understanding someone doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened ✨

If your system adapted around rigid expectations, your body might especially long for experiences of...

We use words like sensual, erotic, turned on, horny, desire, and attraction as though they all mean the same thing… They do not! ✨The erotic is the broader experience of aliveness, charge, captivation, curiosity, vitality, or feeling deeply awake to an experience. It doesn’t have to be sexual. ✨Sensuality is our relationship with bodily sensation and pleasure. A warm bath, music, movement, touch, food, sunlight, something can feel deeply sensual without being sexual. ✨Eroticism is when that charge takes on a sexual or sexualized quality. Sexual tension. Sexual fantasy. Sexual attraction. Erotica. ✨Desire is the wanting. The “I want this.” And here’s where it gets interesting: You can experience the erotic without desire. You can feel deeply alive, captivated, or even sexually charged without wanting to act on it. You can experience sensuality without eroticism. Something can feel incredible in your body without feeling sexual at all. You can experience eroticism without desire. You can feel sexually charged without actually wanting sexual engagement. And you can experience desire without a huge amount of erotic charge. You can want intimacy or sex without feeling fireworks first. None of these experiences makes the others less real. They’re simply different pieces of the experience. And when we collapse them all into “Am I turned on?”, we lose so much information about what our bodies, minds, and relationships are actually telling us. So instead of asking: “Am I sexual enough?” Maybe we can get curious about: What am I actually experiencing right now? Am I feeling alive? Am I experiencing pleasure? Am I feeling sexually charged? Do I want something? And perhaps most importantly: Can I stay connected enough to myself to tell the difference? That, to me, is part of erotic capacity. 🧡 Save this for the next time you find yourself thinking, “Wait… what am I actually feeling?”

Acceptance doesn’t mean you stop wishing things were different ✨

What do you want?

How much S0x should you actually be having?

RESCHEDULING ✨✨✨

Performance vs. Presence

Confidence is not the goal! Expanding your capacity helps you truly feel confident ✨

If your system adapted around being disconnected from the body, your body might especially long for experiences of...

Healing doesn’t always look like moving forward. Sometimes it looks like coming back to the same places. uncertainty. boundaries. conflict. intimacy. desire. yourself. But each time you return, you may meet them differently. You can stay with not knowing without needing to resolve it immediately. You can protect yourself without disappearing or shutting down. You can stay in conflict long enough to find your way toward repair. You can be close to someone without losing yourself. You can notice what you want without immediately overriding it. You can come back to yourself when you’ve drifted away. That’s the spiral of capacity. You don’t become someone who never gets activated, overwhelmed, disconnected, or uncertain. But become capable of returning to yourself with more awareness, more connection, and more choice. Because every time you spiral back, the space to respond becomes a little more available than the impulse to react. ✨

Capacity comes first. We may never even touch the story about your trauma ✨

Healing is not about becoming someone new✨

Why won’t they accept my apology?

An apology isn’t enough.

✨ When your Capacity Collapses and you can’t repair ✨

Having limited capacity can explain your behaviour. However, this doesn’t mean it erases its impact. You can be overwhelmed, dysregulated, or at your limit and still be accountable for what you do next. Accountability doesn’t mean forcing yourself beyond your capacity. It means asking: “Given what I can hold right now, what is the most responsible thing I can do?” Capacity gives us context. Accountability gives us responsibility. #CapacityDistinctions #SomaticHealing #NervousSystem #RelationshipHealth #Accountability

If your system adapted around loneliness, your body might especially long for experiences of...

Okay… I know. This is A LOT. 😂 And if you’re looking at this diagram thinking, “Wait, I’m supposed to keep track of ALL of this while I’m in a relationship?”… NO. Absolutely not. This is a map of a capacity I help clients develop: attentional oscillation. It’s the ability to move your awareness between your internal experience and external reality. Sometimes I need to notice: → What am I feeling? → What is happening in my body? → What do I want? → What is changing inside me? And sometimes I need to orient outward: → What is happening with the other person? → What are they communicating? → What is happening between us? → What information is the relationship giving me? And then importantly… I return. The goal is to develop enough capacity to choose where your attention goes, not to become better at surveillance. And to notice when you’ve become stuck at one end of the continuum. Maybe you disappear into the other person. Maybe you become so internally focused that you lose contact with what’s happening around you. Maybe you bounce between the two so quickly that neither gets your full attention. And the capacity can be practiced. You don’t need to hold every piece of this diagram in your head while you’re having a conversation. You might start with something much simpler: Notice → Orient → Return. What is happening in me? What is happening around me? And what do I notice now? Then we begin again. Because relational presence is in movement. 🧡 This is one of the capacities I help clients explore through somatic relational work. ‘

✨When you don’t want to repair ✨

September is looking FULL in the best way 🧡 I have three opportunities coming up to gather, explore, learn, and reconnect with the body, and I’d love to see you at one (or all) of them. ✨ SEPTEMBER 2 — TABOO TABLE TALK Our intimate conversation circle around s3x, intimacy, desire, relationships, and the things we don’t always get to talk about. We’re almost full ~ only 2 spots left! 📩 DM me if you’d like to join. ✨ SEPTEMBER 13 — BETWEEN INSIGHT & INTUITION I’m bringing my work to a booth for the first time! 🥹 Come find me at The Agora at John Abbott College (21275 Lakeshore Road, Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue, QC) from 10 AM–4 PM for a day of intuitive readers, holistic practitioners, makers, interactive experiences, and community. AND IT’S COMPLETELY FREE. 🧡 I’ll be sharing somatic tools and resources at my booth, AND I’ll also be joining a discussion panel on embodiment throughout the day. Come curious. Ask questions. Explore what resonates. Leave the rest. ✨ SEPTEMBER 18 — @studioinspomtl 5TH ANNIVERSARY + MENTAL HEALTH FUNDRAISER I’ll be facilitating THREE embodiment workshops throughout the evening: 🕔 5 PM — Reconnecting With Your Body in a Busy World Grounding, nervous system regulation, movement, breath & sensory awareness. 🕕 6 PM — Listening to Your Body Without Judgment An experiential introduction to interoception and learning to notice your body’s signals with curiosity. 🕖 7 PM — Small Practices for Self-Connection Sensuality, sensory awareness, self-touch, breath & everyday embodiment. 🎟️ REGISTER THROUGH STUDIO INSPO: 📩 DM me for the link to join Three different spaces. Three different ways of connecting. Whether you come to talk, explore, learn, feel, or simply get curious,  I’d love to see you this September. 🧡 Save this post, send it to a friend, and come say hi if you see me! #SomaticCoach #Embodiment #SomaticExperiencing #NervousSystemRegulation #BodyAwareness

What does your nervous system do with uncertainty?

Confidence vs. Hypervigilance

Reasons to follow me or unfollow me ✌🏼

You can want something deeply and still not have the capacity for it. And you can have all the capacity in the world for something you don’t actually want. Desire asks: “Do I want this?” Capacity asks: “Can I hold this right now?” Learning the difference can help us stop turning every limit (or every lack of desire) into a problem that needs to be fixed. Sometimes your desire is there and your capacity needs support. And sometimes... you just don’t want it. #CapacityDistinctions #SomaticHealing #NervousSystem #Embodiment #Desire

kinda chic to think good sex starts long before anyone gets naked